| <3 AOF |
[23 Mar 2008|02:47am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 nervous |
] |
I had a name some old day
when the crime of you kept me in the frame
and we had a look, both you and me
like a handful of color thrown on the street
that's right now
but I felt ashamed most of those days
'cause the summer came but the winter stayed
Well, what can you say to a dying day
"will you stay here a while, keep the darkness away?"
And oh, you don't wanna know.. you don't wanna be known
and oh, you don't wanna see.. you don't wanna be shown
that I just wanna be your easy part
Now the memory burns cause the days were flames
yeah the nights were cool but they were all the same
but if I go there again well I wont be sane
not a calling guest, just a ghost in the rain
And oh, you don't wanna know.. you don't wanna be known
and oh, you don't wanna see.. you don't wanna be shown
that I just wanna be your easy part
Qhat would I be needing to find?
what would I be needing to see?
what would I be needing to say?
what would I be needing to do?
Yeah, if everything's a question for you
then every answer has its own question too
Yeah, and that's what bleeds the life out of you
oh oh oh
Yeah, I had a name some old day
when the crime of you kept me in the frame
|
|
| Because... |
[05 Mar 2008|04:26am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 loved |
] |
Daniel Johnston is pretty brilliant:
Every time you look at me
You see the monster in my eye
If you could only help me girl
We could be in paradise
Be happy every after
And there would be no more tears
Eternal peace is what I'm after
Maybe, gir,l you could help me understand
The monster inside of me
You know that I want you
You can see that I need you
But you hate the monster
Well, honey, I do, too.
I need your love to carry me
Out of the darkness of the pit
You know I feel just like shit
Maybe, girl, you could help me fight
The monster inside of me
Maybe if someone had said to Vincent Van Gogh
"Keep punching, Joe!"
Maybe he'd be here today.
Maybe he'd be here today.
You inspire the strength within
And I can be conquerer
As my spirit rise above us
Maybe, girl, you could help me destroy
The monster inside of me
And we could be happy
And we could be happy
And we could be happy
And we could be happy
And I enjoy listening to him before bed.
Which, it being 4:26 in the A.M. means I should have been sleeping long LONG ago.
But, talking on the phone with my beautiful flower and then my little duckling is alllll worth it.
They make me feel loved and make me happy. I'm so thankful for that.
|
|
| Facebook |
[22 Oct 2007|09:10pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
amused |
] |
Krystyna interested me in Facebook, so I'm up there now.
So tell me, who is on Facebook? Let me add you!
|
|
| Mrs. Dalloway |
[02 Jul 2007|05:35pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
nervous |
] |
I am ungrateful? You call ME ungrateful? My life has been stolen from me. I'm living in a town I have no wish to live in... I'm living a life I have no wish to live... How did this happen?
It's been awhile since I sat down to watch this. I think I've needed it.
|
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| Rid of me \m/ |
[25 Jun 2007|06:40pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 nostalgic |
] |
I wish I still had my case of CD's that mysteriously disappeared quite some time ago. I had them in a car and they were never to be found again. It fucking sucks. If I had that case, I could listen to My Ruin and this song that's stuck in my head that I <3:
Tie yourself to me....
No one else knows,
You're not rid of me. No, You're not rid of me.
I contain?
I breathe, hah hah hey hey,
You're not rid of me. Yeah, you're not rid of me
You're not rid of me; you're not rid of me
I beg you my, darling,
Don't, leave me, I'm hurting,
Lick my licks, I'm on fire,
Lick my licks of desire,
Lick my licks, I'm on fire,
Lick my licks of desire,
I'll tie your legs, keep you, against my chest,
Oh, you're not rid of me, Yeah; you're not rid of me,
Make you lick my injuries,
I'm gonna twist your hand to stay,
Make you lick my injuries,
I'm gonna twist your hand to stay,
Do you see... Don't you wish you, never, never met her,
Don't you, Don't you wish you never, never met her,
Don't you wish you never, never met her.
Don't you wish you never, never met her.
Thank you, my darling,
Don't leave me, I'm bleeding,
I'm so lonely, of everything,
Oh, everyday I'm hurting,
Lick my licks I'm on fire,
Lick my licks of desire,
Lick my licks, I'm on fire,
Lick my licks of desire,
You're not rid of me, you're not rid of me,
I'll make you lick my injuries,
I'm gonna twist your hand to stay
I'll make you to lick my injuries,
I'm gonna twist your hand to stay,
Do you see... Don't you wish you, never, never met her,
Don't you, Don't you wish you, never, never met her,
Don't you, don't you wish you, never, never met her,
Don't you, Don't You wish you, never, never met her,
Don't you, Don't You wish you, never, never met her,
Don't you, Don't You wish you, never, never met her,
Don't you, Don't You wish you, never, never met her,
Don't you, Don't You wish you, never, never met her,
Lick my licks I'm on fire,
Lick my licks of desire,
Lick my licks, I'm on fire,
Lick my licks of desire...
I remember first discovering how much I liked the song while I was "zoning" at Target when I was still working there. I listened to it on repeat for awhile =D
|
|
| And this too shall pass... |
[31 May 2007|11:34pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 cold |
] |
You said you hate my suffering
And you understood
And you’d take care of me
You'd always be there
Well, where are you now?
The mark of a year.
|
|
| Hot Pockets |
[20 May 2007|12:57pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
crushed |
] |
What happened to having fun no matter where we were or what we were doing?
Watching "Flowers In The Attic", or how about "A Dangerous Woman"?
Text messages, text messages, and text messages.
"Amy, good gorilla" and a paper reading "self-control" taped to the door.
Talking all night long.
Me acting ridiculous like a dog and attacking you... leading to other things.
You missing me.
Yogurt and blistered feet after I got back from visiting NC.
All of that business you wrote to me in a note about always being there and fighting the "chemicals".
I cried myself to sleep, knowing it would be the last night I would ever sleep in your arms. You had no idea, you were already far into sleep. I was so afraid that you'd wake up and notice.
How could you do this to me? All I ever wanted to do was make you happy. But now you have said some fucked up things and shared thoughts of another/others that are crippling. I'm not strong enough? Honey, it's nothing to do with weakness... it's only because I love you so much. Never has anything hurt me this bad... never has anyone, because I never let them. I didn't care for them enough. Maybe it's that I don't fall out of love easily because I don't fall IN love easily at all. I was a damn good girlfriend to you, I never did anything to try and purposely hurt you. If ever, it wasn't meant.
I didn't get bored. I love all of you [including flaws and things I disagree with]. I didn't hang out with people behind your back. I always wanted to include you, or try to. I didn't want to fuck other people. I didn't drive to my ex-boyfriends house after you were hurt and walked off after 11 at night [nor did I tell you how good he looked and how I wanted to jump his bones]. I didn't text people saying flirtatious things, nor did I tell them you didn't matter. I never said that it wouldn't be hard for me to forget about you... that I'd simply repress it.
And what's with you telling me that I wasn't your girlfriend anymore if I was bi-curious... then you turn around and crush on/lust for a lesbian?
All in what feels like the blink of an eye.
I would flat out ask you, and you'd say I wasn't right for thinking that and I needed to stop being negative. "You shan't lose me". I'm just tired...
Pffft.
You could have had common decency and not lied about all of that.
I can't/won't beg you to stay, I don't want you to do something you don't want to do.
|
|
| The Kill |
[24 Apr 2007|04:19pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
confused |
] |
Moved in a hired car,
And I find no way to run,
Adds every moment longer,
Had no time for fun,
Just something that I knew I had to do,
But through it all I left my eyes on you.
I had an impulse to clear it all away,
Oh I used the tactics, make everybody pay,
Just something that I knew I had to do,
But through it all I kept my eyes on you.
Oh, I keep it all clean,
Ive paid the graces there,
No kings of misuse,
No sellers of flesh,
Just something that I knew I had to do,
But through it all I kept my eyes on you,
Yeah through it all I kept my eyes on you,
But through it all I kept my eyes on you.
|
|
| Hold on love... |
[01 Nov 2006|05:50am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 worried |
] |
For once, I can say that I am wholeheartedly HAPPY.
Don't let this end, don't let this become ruined.
Let neither of us fuck it up...
Please don't let ME fuck it up.
I love you, I love you, I love you.
You are sleeping right now, and I'm smiling while watching you.
Who would have ever known!
Rub noses with me and leave mustard bruises on me FOREVER.
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